a wish for wings that work

jadeemasters:

http://jadeemasters.tumblr.com/ask

the things i miss the most, really all is just, times with my brother. when we would drive so far and everywhere with his friends he always tagged me along. everyday went to the mall. or at least somewhere different. went to new big places, like field of screams. my favorite place to go to now. hed get excited at telling me storys when were drivin like hes talkin to a friend and he cares about telling me. playing our made up sports in our yard. or around the hood. when the grass smelt like fresh good onions. haha. going to pic up your hottest friend from the train station in a far differnt town when he comes home every friday from collage. just that cool nice brezz my favorite time of the day, strolling in the front seat of his truck windows down smelling the fields and grass. going ex stream hiking. taking nice ass smoke rides. hed even made a blunt just for me and him a few times before, now its never worth it. i looked up to him even when i remember those days when we were littler we fought so much/bad i screamed at the top of my lungs “i hate you so much i hope you go to hell.” he got me into smoking weed. which is my thing now. and now, what happens is„ im hurt that he doesnt spend time what so ever with me. i mean he aint too much older from those times. the past year or less hes more around his newly asshole friends and girl friend. when i buy weed, he yells at me to stop. and hes the one to get me into it. now he doesn’t care if i smoke it he just cares where i get the money from. so for the longest time ever, everytime i had weed id text him and ask him if he wanted to smoke, im packing it. he never would. just to be an asshole. i tryed so hard, i mean fuckin, a free smoke up why not? this summer and year i tryed haning out with him , when hed simply go to the store he wouldnt take me. im thinkin its this new girl friend so i got really pissed and yelled at him hes pussy whiped then sayin he turned out to be an asshole he doesnt care for me. and everything i try to explain to him how i feel to change things he gets mad and just yells at me and called me hurtfull names that would never hurt me if it was anybody else. last week, during a hurricane power outage, he was goin to go hiking, my mom and myself tryed geting him to take me along and he says theres no room i got david joy greg and the dog. if i take emily then i cant take the dog! a fucking dog to him is more enjoyable/important then me. i didnt do anything. i dont know what to do anymore. i miss everything i dont want him out of my life. simple as that. and he dont see this.

going back to that horrible feeling when your heart was broken more then a few years back. makes me want to throw up, and shake afraid of looking at it.

it was all on a myspace pic comment from some other girl, saying ” your so cute, im so glad were together now and not that emily girl right? :) ” …. immediately broke down crying. i never cryed so hard and so sudden.

to this day he still dont understand, but hes still with me in my heart and talks to me.

i did it. i got pissed off today, and to cure everything i go to weed.to be in a better mood. i wast allowed out of my house for even just “a walk” , so i got even more pissed. and by tonight, i didn’t get any weed. talked to my parents. and is happy now. singing and normal. ha ha i finally got shit straight without weed.

go fuck your sellf suck my fucking cock. go smoke some weed you DICK man am i so pissed right now

My followers dont talk to me at all :(
plus im bored. Talk to me about anything lol idc

What i do best.
It takes my pain away.